How to Form Friendships at Work - The Muse

How to Form Friendships at Work - The MuseHow to Form Friendships at Work For the most part, your job is great. Your manager is supportive and encouraging. Your work is challenging- in a good way. Your voice is heard, youre inspired by the company mission, and the culture promotes awesome work-life balance.Theres only one complaint you have For one reason or another, you arent really meshing with your co-workers.Your attempts to join in on conversations in the break room usually end in crickets or awkward pauses. While everybody else heads out for a happy hour, you decide to either stay back at the office or skip out and head home. You feel totally out of the loop on other peoples celebrations and personal milestones. While getting along with your colleagues definitely isnt the be-all and end-all of career happiness, theres no denying that it helps. But, if youre struggling to form friendships with the people you work with, its easy to get discouraged.Rather than writing the whole th ing off as a waste (or jumping to conclusions and putting in your two weeks notice) give these steps a try to strengthen the relationships between you and your co-workers. 1. Analyze the ProblemFirst things first, its time to turn a magnifying glass on the situation in attempts to determine why youre struggling to connect. Be honest with yourself- have you really put yourself out there? Have you attended events and social gatherings? Have you attempted to engage in friendly conversations? Or, are you keeping to yourself and silently wondering why people arent leaping at the chance to get to know you?If you feel like youve been nothing but thermisch and friendly, its likely that the issue is bigger than you- in which case you have a few options. If you enjoy everything about your job and the fact that your co-workers are a little cold is just a minor flaw in an otherwise ideal situation, then you can spend time investing in relationships outside of the office.On the other hand, if fr iendships at work are important to you or you feel like youre stuck in a toxic culture, you might want to start looking for a kollektiv (or even work environment) thats a better fit for you.Or, if you realize you havent been as proactive as you could be in getting to know your co-workers better, it might be time to step up your game and interact a little more. Which brings us to the next tips...2. Be AuthenticWeve all fallen into this trap more than we care to admit We adjust aspects of our personality in order to better fit in with a group of people. It often feels easier to be inauthentic than unlikable.Of course, theres nothing wrong with opening yourself up to new interests or ways of thinking (in fact, thats encouraged). However, its always better to resist the temptation to shift the entire foundation of who you are in order to make your work life easier.Fortunately, there are some things you can do to be genuine while also forging better bonds with your colleagues. Maybe your e passionate about workplace diversity and want to head up an office committee. Or, instead of jumping in on existing conversations at lunch, youre going to start one yourself about a recent trip you took or a thought-provoking article you just read.Using your own passions and experiences to fuel different discussions and opportunities gives you and your co-workers the chance to uncover any shared one interests- while being genuine and honest about the things you hold dear. 3. Broaden Your HorizonsAsk yourself this Do you really not fit in with anyone in the office? Or, are you just assuming that simply because you didnt immediately mesh with one specific group of people?Theres nothing wrong with getting out of your comfort zone and interacting with some new people at work- in fact, its encouragedSit with a new group over lunch in the break room. Join a cross-functional team to not only meet some more of your colleagues, but also to learn about other aspects of the business. Or, swi tch your goal from forming bonds with absolutely everybody, and instead try to find one person that you really connect with.Office environments can easily become filled with cliques. And, while continuing to hang around the same group of people might feel safe, its hardly inclusive. So, get out there and interact with some different colleagues. You might be surprised by the friendships you form4. Rise AboveUnfortunately, sometimes no matter how you try, not everybody will be receptive to your efforts to be friendly. It can be disheartening- but, dont let it get you down too much.The most important thing you need to remember here? You should still be the very best version of yourself. Even if your workplace feels anything but inclusive and welcoming, its on you to continue to bring your empathetic and positive attitude to the office day in and day out. No, maybe you wont forge lifelong friendships in the office- and, if youre happy with every other aspect of your career, maybe youll determine that youre just fine with that But, as always, that age-old advice of treating others the way youd like to be treated is crucial. Implement that and- even if youre not everybodys best friend- youre sure to at least be respected. For some of us, fitting in well with our co-workers is imperative. But, for others, the actual work is far more important than who they do it with.Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum, attempting to improve the relationships you share with your colleagues is never a bad thing. Even if you cant dramatically shift the atmosphere of your workplace or how your team members interact with you, these tips will help you rest assured that youre always your best and most inclusive self in the office.